So I am trying to get the word spread about my book coming out and decided to scope out various blogs where I might post an innocuous word or two in the Comments section, like on a site for cooking rutabagas and how I know nothing about rutabagas – in fact, truth be told, Dear Reader, I have never eaten a rutabaga and would probably only do so if my dear father were still with us and cooked one up for me to eat when I was an adolescent and threatened that I could not have a Hostess Ding Dong for dessert unless I ate this turnip thing – but even though I know nothing about rutabagas, I might post a comment on the blog about them and say something like, “Gee, I never knew there were so many people interested in cooking rutabagas or even reading a blog about cooking rutabagas isn't that just lovely, so…um…please read my blog at http://surfcountry.blogspot.com/ where no rutabagas are featured and so that you can be innocently subjected to a shameless promotion about my book that’s coming out this spring.”
I find these blogs on cooking rutabagas, or fly fishing for rainbow trout in northern Maine, or fixing the septic system on recreational vehicles, and I basically go anywhere where people have two eyes, a functioning brain, and approximately $13.95 or so plus shipping and handling in their checking account, in addition to whatever they need for their mortgage this month, and I try to win them to this blog here.
This blog, which you are now reading.
Now reading, and have the power – the unbridled, democratic, fully global power – to spread the word to all your friends on your email list.
Oh. And another thing.
I was reviewing what blogs out there are getting the most page views. You know what gets the most views? I’ll tell you, Dear Reader. You will hang your head low or, if not, if instead you are piqued, I will be glad to send you the hyperlinks but rest assured I will tell your mother.
What gets the most views?
Blogs that show YouTube videos of Pamela Anderson Lee and another one showing a funny, white-coated man blending up unusual objects like annoying wind-up toys, which he apparently did on Leno and now everyone wants to see it for themselves. (Okay, it was kind of funny.) There was another one with a video of a 747 going off the end of a runway in Medellin, Colombia in 2004. Still being watched.
THIS is what people are really interested in seeing, or ostensibly “reading,” on blogs.
So if you want your voice to be heard, my friend, ringing across purple mountain majesties and above the fruited plain, that occasionally someone writes something that can bring a smile to your face that isn’t measured in bra sizes or burning fuselages, then tell your friends about Surfcountry, and tell them about Lullabye.
The alternative is airing a YouTube video here of my tradition of dressing up as a turkey on Thanksgiving morning and letting my sons hunt me with nerf guns.
So help me, I will go there.